In part one, our heroes met up with Ash-tachi (our heroes being, naturally, Team Rocket) and they all decided to join up together to find the legendary Articuno. Yup, that's all that happened in the whole chapter. Could've done it in about five paragraphs, but who cares. *grins*
Just so you all remember, I use Ash-tachi usually to refer to Ash, Misty, Brock, Pikachu ("Brii!" and Togepi), and Team Rocket to refer to Jessie, James and Meowth. ^_^.
Warning: this story contains mature content (violence towards a Pokemon) that may disturb younger readers. Well, maybe not. ^_^.
I Can't Think Of Decent Fanfic Titles To Save My Life
by Leto
Part 2
"So, where are we actually going to LOOK for this Articuno?" Misty ventures to ask, as the two groups trudge through the brush towards the ocean.
"Toge?"
"Sea Foam Island," James calmly replies, "It's a small island not too far from here."
Brock is puzzling over this, wondering why Team Rocket bothered to climb a tree to do bird watching if they knew Articuno was on Sea Foam Island. Don't think, Brock dear, let's just ignore the plot holes.
"How'd you know that?" asks Misty, impressed.
"Toge togepi?"
"Yeah, I didn't know that," adds Ash.
"What you don't know could fill a warehouse," retorts Meowth (there's some truth in it!).
"I am a Pokemon expert," replies James calmly.
"Meaning, he has a Game Boy," Jessie translates.
"James likes Game Boy?" asks Misty, slightly surprised.
"Briii, gepi?"
James nods like a little kid and Jessie sighs "That's like asking if fish like water. This guy is an obsessed video games maniac."
"The thing is, he could win an award for world's worst player," whispers Meowth confidentially, "But don't tell him that. He couldn't even catch Articuno."
Ash-tachi and Team Rocket have made their way down to the ocean's edge, and see Sea Foam Islands far in the distance. Far, far in the distance.
"All right!" crows James triumphantly, "We've found our goal!" He cracks his knuckles and everyone cringes (including him).
"Let's go!" agrees Jessie.
The two march foward (into the water, no less).
Their feet start getting wet as the sea water soaks through their boats.
"Aah! Water! Where'd that come from?" squeaks Jessie.
Misty, with sweatdrop, replies "It's called the ocean, genius."
"Briiiii! Togepi!"
"Oh no! These boots are made of leather! They'll stain! They'll be ruined!" wails... you guessed it, James. ^_^.
Apparently, displaying a typical lack of foresight for this anime, nobody has even bothered to consider the matter of how they are going to get to Sea Foam Island.
Ash-tachi, Meowth and Jessie-and-James-with-dripping-shoes call to a man who conveniently happens to be passing by.
"Uh, excuse me sir!"
The man turns.
Jessie turns on the charm. She knows no man can resist her. *cough, choke* "Excuse me kind sir, I don't suppose you might have a boat we could use or something like that, we've travelled a looong way and we'd really like to get to Sea Foam Island. Would you possibly maybe pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top be able to help us out just a little bit?"
She bats her eyelashes at him. He looks... repulsed, to be perfectly honest. Jessie suddenly realises that she's wearing her Team Rocket outfit, is still covered with dirt compliment of her inelegant crash-landing from the tree earlier, and her boots are sopping wet, so she must look like a psychotic escaped convict to this stranger. ("Hey! I look good no matter what!")
Okay. Jessie looks like a good psychotic escaped convict.
The man runs away.
"Good going, Jessie," says Misty, voice shining with sincerity.
"Bri!"
"Is that stupid Pokemon going to speak up EVERY time Misty says something?"
"Togepi is not stupid!"
"Toge, bri!"
Jessie snarls "I'd like to make scrambled eggs out of that cutesy little nuisance."
The author agrees heartily. All Togepi fans smack her over the head.
"Toge, toge!"
James perks up. "Fooood?"
Suddenly, simultaneously, surprisingly, surreally (Brock: "Very nice use of alliteration, but get on with it"), everyone realises they're starving hungry.
Not that James is ever anything but.
In five seconds, Brock has whipped out a table, tablecloth, cutlery and crockery, and has a campfire going. After five more seconds, Ash-tachi all sit down to eat. After five more seconds, the food has all been shovelled away.
Team Rocket blinks.
"What about us?" they all wail.
"You wanted to come with us, you can get your own food," says Ash smugly.
"Pika pi!"
"You wanted us to come!"
"Understandable, really," muses James.
The three Rockets look depressed since they never seem to get a good square meal. If there's no food around, they'll have to improvise...
"Why are your eyes gleaming like that?" Brock asks suspiciously of Jessie.
Jessie laughs. "Hahahahaha."
"That's not an answer you know..."
Moving together of perfect accord, Jessie and James both dive at Togepi.
"Briiiii!" squeals the annoyingly cute egg Pokemon.
"Cut that out!" yell Misty and Meowth in unison.
"Pika pika!" yells Pikachu, and electricity starts building around its cheecks. "Pika... chuuuuuu!"
And naturally, Pikachu manages to thoroughly shock everyone in the group, including the Togepi it was aiming to protect. Team Rocket lose their grip on the egg Pokemon, but it doesn't matter too much since Pikachu has already done the job they were aiming to do.
Smoke curls up from Togepi. "Ooh! Fried egg!" squeals James, producing a plate, knife and fork from nowhere. "Soft boiled is better, but..."
Ash-tachi watch in horror as Togepi quickly disappears.
"PIKACHU!" squeals Pikachu, running towards the now-empty plate. (Anime characters can shovel entire meals down in 3.68 seconds now. Record set by Yuuki Miaka.) "Pikachu, pika, pi pi pi pi pi pikachuuuuu!"
"Okay, okay, we get the message," says James irritably, licking his fingers.
Pikachu looks as if it's ready to cry, then suddenly changes its mind and lets loose with a thunderbolt that would cause a Zapdos to pack up electrocuting as a dead loss and live a quiet life in the woods.
^_^.
Team Rocket give the usual yells of pain as they make funny faces and contorted poses, but after all this time they've developed *some* resistance to electricity (well, you'd hope so) as well as drowning, flames, falling off cliffs and having heavy objects falling on them. Of course they have, otherwise they'd be dead.
(Into an alternate dimension, where things are realistic...)
"My Pokemon won't go into their Pokeballs!" wails Misty.
"Of course not! I think that Starmie, Staryu, Goldeen... okay, all your Pokemon (except maybe Horsea) are a LITTLE bigger than Pokeballs, don't you think?" reasons Brock.
"Hey Brock..." Misty suddenly remembers something. "What's happening to Pewter Gym while you're wandering around here?"
"Uh... I'm sure it's fine. My Dad will take care of it."
"But they'll have to change the sign in front of the gym and all the Pokemon League entrance notices that say your name as the Gym Leader and..."
"Let's talk about something else."
"It's too bad about Ash, isn't it?"
"Yeah..."
Brock and Misty both bow their heads, remembering the tragic end of Ash. A human being cannot take numerous strong electrocutions and still see the light of the next day. Their reverie is interrupted by...
"Prepare for trouble!"
"Make it... owww... double!"
"Didn't you guys do that last episode? Didn't you fall off a cliff or something?"
Team Rocket appear. Jessie has a large bandage on her forehead and is in a wheelchair. James is on crutches, with his leg in plasters and an arm in a sling. Meowth is nowhere to be seen.
"We did," confirms James, redundantly. ^_^.
(End alternate reality.)
Misty is horrified, she's just staring at James in disbelief.
"How can you EAT an innocent baby Pokemon?!" she shrieks.
James pats his stomach. "Well, the trick is to take small mouthfuls, then you can take more mouthfuls at once, so you can -"
"I mean ethically!"
He hasn't thought about that, clearly. "Well, uh... it's the same deal really. Ethically, physically, it's still food."
Ash-tachi get sweatdrops and Misty looks murderous. "You killed my poor Pokemon! Now I'm -"
"Wasn't yours, it was mine!" Ash interrupts a potentially long and typically dramatic anime speech.
"SHUT UP! Now I'm gonna give you every Pokemon I have!"
Jessie licks her lips. "Oh good, I haven't eaten yet and I do enjoy seafood."
"I didn't mean literally give you! I meant - oh, forget it! Just go, Staryu, Starmie, Goldeen, Hor-"
Misty gets her Pokeballs out, but before she can finish yelling all their names, Psyduck jumps out her bag and decides that it will take over.
"Psyduck, I didn't want you!" yells Misty, smacking it over the head.
"Psy-y-y?"
"Oooh! Well, you can stay. I'll use all the Pokemon I have! Staryu, Starmie, Goldeen, Horsea! Attack!"
Ash grins and comments "All the Pokemon you have, it doesn't amount to very many, does-" WHACK
He ends up on the ground with swirly eyes.
James, fully energetic after a good meal, grins and pulls out his own (sole, lonely, solitary, single) Pokeball. "Goooo, Weezing!"
"Weeeeze..." croaks the geriatric Pokemon.
"Arbok!" commands Jessie.
"Chaaarbok!" barks the cobra, materialising.
Brock and Ash strike poses and James glances at Brock with a half-smile on his face. Brock cringes, then yells "Goooo, Geodude!"
"Like you ever send out any other Pokemon," groans Ash, "why not give Zubat a chance or something? We've yet to see its power!"
Brock frowns at Ash. "And what Pokemon were you intending to use? Pikachu?"
"Welll..."
"Geodude, self destruct! Oh hang on, that's not quite an ideal attack, is it... er... never mind."
"Staryu, water gun! Starmie, hydro pump! Horsea, bubble! Goldeen, horn attack!"
"Psy-y-y?"
"Uh... Psyduck, hit yourself over the head!"
"Psyduck?"
"Trust me!"
The gormless Pokemon starts hitting itself over the head. But of course, it's so feeble it can barely give itself a headache.
"Change of plans! Goldeen, come over here and start using peck on Psyduck's head!"
"Goldeen goldeen."
Goldeen looks strangely pleased at this request (always knew it was sadistic) and starts pecking Psyduck.
"Arbok, acid!"
"Weezing, sludge attack!"
Pokemon pandomonium reigns for a few moments, with Team Rocket's naturally winning, even though they're hopelessly outnumbered. Team Rocket always seems to win until an *outside force* (ooh!) steps in. ^_^.
Brock and Meowth, both of whom are being starved of attention ("and lunch!" adds Meowth)("Do you want attention, Brock?" asks James) in this story, are watching with bored expressions. It's not like this has become an uncommon sight. Meowth suddenly realises that with Togepi gone, there's really no reason for him to be there, and Brock is just generally getting sick of the whole thing (as well as feeling increasingly uncomfortable around James) so the two just walk off together without a word.
As a matter of fact, I think they've got the right idea. Wait up!
Brock and Meowth, an unlikely combination, power-walk away from the constant fighting, whining and other annoyances they have to put up with from their respective groups.
They look, relieved, over their shoulders to find no sign of anyone following them; all they can see is a dark cloud of smoke, which James always seems to make his Pokemon produce for that extra challenge in Pokemon battles. ^_^.
Staring out at the ocean, they both wonder how they're going to cross it.
"I hate water," sulks Meowth.
"So do I," agrees Brock, thinking of his rock-type Pokemon.
"It's so wet!"
"It's so cold!"
"It's so big!"
"It's so... composed of hydrogen and oxygen!"
Meowth gets a little sweatdrop.
"Maybe we should have stayed with the others."
"Why, Meowth?"
"If our conversation is going to be as boring as this..."
Brock smacks him over the head. "I'm not boring!"
A new, unfamiliar voice enters the conversation. "That's for sure!" *annoying giggle*
A girl, probably about 16 years old, steps out of the bushes. She has limp reddish blonde hair, lots of freckles, dull grey eyes and looks like she's about a size 18 (x large) figure.
Why do all main female characters on this show (bar Jenny) have reddish coloured hair? It's a trend. ^_^.
For once, Brock doesn't look like he's about to start drooling and blushing over a girl.
"Can I help you?" snaps Meowth.
The girl gloms onto Brock. "You can't, but maybe he can."
Brock eyes the girl uncomfortably. "Uh..."
"Do you wanna go out for a coffee?"
"Uh, I don't drink coffee."
"Wanna go out for a soft drink then?"
"Uh, I don't... drink soft drink."
"Water?"
"I don't drink water."
"Wanna go out for a beer?"
"I don't drink beer."
"What DO you drink, then?"
Brock is getting sick of this girl and he's beginning to realise what it's like to be on the receiving end of unwanted attentions.
"I drink... uh, blood! Hahahaha!"
Meowth groans at Brock's pitiful attempt to sound evil. Brock subtly steps on him and smiles sweetly at the girl.
The girl doesn't look at all put off.
"Wanna go out for some blood then?"
Brock and Meowth facefault.
"Who are you and why did you suddenly appear?" demands Brock irritably. "You're not the author, are you? Surely she's not that self centered as to do a self-insertion fic..."
Oh, sure I am. ^_^. (But I'm a brunette.)
"I'm not the author," says the redhead with a puzzled look on her face. "I'm just... a girl who loves you."
Meowth is making retching noises, and Brock turns a bit pale. "Uh, I'm sorry, I already have a girlfriend."
"Who?"
Of course, Brock doesn't really have a girlfriend but he has to think of someone. At that moment, ideally, people come through the bushes behind him.
Brock grabs the arm of the first girl he sees. "Her!" he says and before the girl can do anything about it, she finds herself being kissed by Brock.
Who's the girl? Well, you'll just have to read the next chapter to find out. Hahaha. ^_^.